Domestic Violence Information Manual

THE DYNAMICS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Domestic Arguments/Domestic Violence | The Cycle of Violence | The six phases in the Cycle of Violence

There is an important distinction which must be made in order to understand and recognise the difference between Domestic Arguments and Domestic Violence.

a) Domestic Arguments

It would be true to assume that most relationships are troubled by conflict (to a greater or lesser degree) which can be caused (or made worse) by financial hardship, sexual infidelity, alcohol or drug abuse, work pressure, jealousy, differences in expectations about relationships, and so forth. These types of conflicts can lead to arguments, however, neither partner becomes an identifiable victim or abuser because neither party has more power or control than the other. This can be a healthy way to resolve differences and is illustrated in the Equality Wheel developed and named after the Duluth Domestic Abuse Intervention Project.

b) Domestic Violence

Domestic Abuse, on the other hand, occurs in relationships where conflict is the continuous result of power inequality between the partners and one partner is afraid of, and harmed by the other. This is illustrated in the Power and Control Wheel which presents the primary tactics and behaviours individual abusers use to establish and maintain control in their relationships. The Wheel symbolises the relationship of violence to other forms of abuse and coercion. Each spoke represents a tactic used to exert control or gain power, which is the hub of the wheel. The rim which surrounds and supports the spokes is physical and sexual violence. Violence holds the system together and gives it strength. Physical abuse and sexual violence are a part of a system of abusive behaviour.

The issues of power and control are essential to an understanding of Domestic Violence.

THE CYCLE OF VIOLENCE

The Limitations of the "Cycle of Violence" Model in explaining Domestic Violence

The Cycle of Violence has been used comprehensively as a model for understanding violent behaviour and while it has been useful in moving away from old notions about violence being caused by communication problems in a relationship, it does have limitations.

Even though The Cycle of Violence occurs in most violent relationships, the time between each violent episode may vary from days, weeks, months.
Not all women experience violence in this way. Many women do not experience a Honeymoon Phase at all.
It focuses only on the violent incident itself and does not take into account that controlling behaviour may be occurring all the time.
It also fails to take into account all the other forms of domestic abuse such as sexual, verbal, psychological, spiritual, economic or social factors that contribute to a violent relationship.
It leads to a focus of intervention where the abuser is taught to control his violent behaviour through anger management. This does not address the underlying attitudes and beliefs about the status of women.

1. "She's getting on my nerves again!"
2. "You stupid fool!"
3. POW!
4. "You shouldn't have pushed me. It was your fault!"
5. "Honey, it will never happen again... I promise!"
6. "See Honey, we haven't got any problems..."

The Six Phases in the Cycle of Violence

1. Build-Up Phase - Tension builds within the perpetrator for various reasons (such as family pressures, work stresses or his own thought patterns) and his behaviour becomes more aggressive and intense regardless of how hard the victim tries to calm him. Other individuals and couples will have a range of reactions to this tension which do not include the use of violence, but in the abusive relationship, it leads to the...

2. Stand-Over Phase - Because of his physical strength and his realistic and frightening threats to hurt her, the woman feels that she is under her husband's control. His verbal attacks will weaken her even further.

3. Explosion Phase - A violent outburst occurs which is usually carried out in a fit of self righteous rage. These outbursts are likely to intensify over time. After the assault, the husband enters the...

4. Remorse Phase - He may feel ashamed or guilty and afraid of the consequences however, he will usually deny or understate the violence and refuse to take responsibility for his actions. He may claim that she is responsible for the violence because she provoked him, because she deserved it or because he was out of control and did not realise what he was doing. Unfortunately, the woman often believes this 'reasoning' because to admit otherwise would be to acknowledge the potentially dangerous situation she (and perhaps the children) are living in.

5. Pursuit Phase - If she leaves him following the violent incident, he will usually try extremely hard to win her back. This is also known as the 'Buy-Back' Phase because he will try to buy back his partner by showering her with extravagant gifts, being loving and attentive, and promising that he will never hurt her again. She may return, wanting to believe that he has changed. If she still refuses to go back, he may resort to threats and more violence. He may threaten to make life as difficult as possible for her regarding their property, finance, children, relatives etc. This is the time at which the majority of domestic murders occur and she may return out of fear. Alternatively, he may become helpless, saying that he cannot cope without her and threaten suicide if she does not come back to him. Many women return, feeling needed or that they must protect him from harming himself. The couple move into the...

6. Honeymoon Phase - If a reconciliation occurs (having come so close to separation and destruction) the couple may experience a very intense, intimate relationship where neither wants to remember the pain of the violence and earlier difficulties are denied. He may be communicative and responsive to her needs and she hopes, or believes, that he has changed. Unfortunately, in violent relationships, the cycle inevitably continues as the underlying issue of control reappears and the relationship weakens again under the growing weight of tensions.

Reference:
1. Department for Community Services (1990) Responding to Domestic Violence: Spouse Abuse - Guidelines to Practice. (2nd print).

Western Australia, Australia. (p.24)

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Updated: Monday, 16 February 1998