Melbourne ~ Australia
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Physical abuse takes many forms including hitting, punching, pulling hair, slapping, grabbing, biting, kicking, breaking bones, bruising, burning, twisting arms, throwing victims against walls and furniture, throwing objects and using weapons. It also includes damaging household goods and furniture, killing pets and denial of basic human needs, like sleep and/or nutrition. Assault can be of a life-threatening nature resulting in broken bones, miscarriages and other serious injuries. A substantial proportion of victims are threatened or assaulted with weapons such as knives, firearms and axes. Physical violence can result in murder and often leads to serious physical injury. The injuries are not always obvious as abusers often make sure the signs of their attacks are hidden under clothing. For many women there is a real and constant threat of death because of the seriousness of the abuse. 'Most attacks took place at night. While my three small children slept I would sit waiting for him to come home. It was like living with a time bomb. The waiting, the wondering, when would he be home, what sort of mood would he be in, would he eat his dinner or throw it at the wall or me, would the children wake scared and frightened, would he break up the furniture again.' "One third of all Australian homicide victims are women killed by their spouses." (Family Violence Professional Education Taskforce, 1991, p.62. Sexual violence in the home is domestic violence. Sexual intercourse without consent is sexual assault. Sexual assault may or may not involve physical force. "Sexual abuse is any unwanted sexual contact. It should be borne in mind that it was only in 1985 in Victoria that rape in marriage was officially recognised as a crime. Many men still believe that they have the right to unlimited sexual access to their wives." (Family Violence Professional Education Taskforce, 1991, p.62)
Verbal Abuse consists of derogatory comments, insults and constant put-downs. Lack of physical attractiveness, inferiority, incompetency, inability to cope and/or succeed on her own and being told that she is not a good mother / wife / housekeeper. Over time, this constant humiliation will destroy a woman's belief in herself and severely affect her self-esteem. She begins to take on the abusive descriptions as if they are real and therefore may start to believe that she's worthless, that the violence is her fault. It must be kept in mind that responsibility for the violence lies solely with the perpetrator, not the victim. 'After continual harassment one reached the point of complete lack of self-confidence. There must be something wrong with me or else I would not be treated in this way... I was reduced from an intelligent, professional woman to a confused drained wreck in a very short time.' "Verbal abuse also includes threats of physical violence and violent verbal outbursts." (Family violence Professional Education Taskforce, 1991, p.63) Threats are a very common form of verbal abuse, aimed at terrorising the woman to such an extent that the abuser is in total control. Threats by a man to kill a woman and/or the children if she leaves him, are often reported by victims of domestic violence. Given that male partners are the people to be most feared by women (see Section 2) this is a threat that has to be taken seriously, especially if the abuser has access to a firearm or other weapon.
Closely linked to verbal Abuse, these behaviours are also aimed at terrorising the victim and stripping her of her self-confidence. Behaviours include destroying household/personal property, deliberately hurting/injuring/killing domestic pets, deprivation of essential personal needs such as food, sleep, sanitary items etc. "This form of abuse occurs when one partner deliberately misuses the psychological or emotional factors in a relationship, and the power which they give, in order to manipulate and intimidate the other partner. A range of behaviour is involved, including verbal abuse intended to destroy the other person's self-esteem. For example, a perpetrator's behaviour may lead his partner to believe she is insane, stupid or useless. The effect is often cumulative, occurring over a long period with damaging consequences for the abused person's sense of self. This form of abuse is often a central factor in spouse abuse." (Family Violence Professional Education Taskforce, 1991, p.63)
"Spiritual abuse describes the damage violence does to the spirit of those who have been abused. For some women this cannot be equated with psychological or emotional abuse. Spiritual violence is deeper than an individual's experience of betrayal: it involves the shame experienced when everyone in the community is aware of the violence, and when they too are implicated as victims of the violence. Victimisation may be based on race, color, or other forms of identification with that community, and it includes the abuse suffered from a history of genocide or persecution.For Christian women, spiritual abuse is an element of violence in the home and of the way in which that violence is conceptualised within Church tradition. Too often that tradition involves a concept of wifely, Christian duty and enjoins women to endure violence and to preserve the marriage. This is 'an ethic of Christian duty [which] renders precarious the basic safety of wives.' The silence of the Church in response to the disclosure of spouse abuse is itself a form of spiritual violence." (Family Violence Professional Education Taskforce, 1991, p.64)
This occurs where the man has total control over all financial resources. For example, he may forbid the woman to work, or, if she does, he may insist that she hands over her pay packet to him unopened. She may have to beg for money to buy necessities and when it is given, it may often be insufficient. She is then criticised for being stupid and incompetent in failing to provide adequately with this sum. 'I was reliant on my husband financially... during a 'good week' I received a grand total of $30 which had to stretch to cover every household need for four people... We lived in secondhand clothes, and had no hot water... My allowance would be cut accordingly if I ever stepped out of line, or was out of favour with my husband.' "...financial abuse... involves control of the use and availability of money. This can include preventing a woman from taking a job outside the home and earning an independent income, preventing her from participating in decisions about how money is spent and refusing her money for basic household necessities such as food and clothing." (Family Violence Professional Education Taskforce, 1991, p.64)
This includes: delivering verbal abuse in front of other people, such as put-downs, jokes, criticisms about the woman's weight, appearance, sexuality, intelligence etc. controlling behavious such as following her to work, controlling access to friends, constant phone calls at work or accusations of imagined 'affairs' etc.
isolating a woman by denigrating her friends and family, thus leading her to cut herself off because she fears enraging her husband; locking the woman in or out of the house, cutting off the telephone, never letting her use the car etc.
'Friends keep in contact by letter or phone rather than visit here in case I get into more trouble. Likewise them.'
"Social abuse is the constant monitoring and control of a women's activities, outings and friendships. She may be forced to account for her every movement, and may be denied the right to leave the home and / or see her friends. Some men will go to great lengths to control their partners' behaviour, including locking them in the house, throwing away car keys, controlling the visitors to the house and the phone calls their partners can receive. The man who socially abuses his partner controls the flow of information into and out of the house and his partners' ability to leave. The result for the abused woman can be public humiliation and isolation from friends and other members of her family." (Family Violence Professional Education Taskforce, 1991, p.64)Federation Press: Sydney, Australia.